bottledsanity
12-30-2007, 08:52 AM
I have experimented with a laundry list of narcotics hallucinogens & prescription medications. Having battled addiction and still battling alcoholism I am attempting to seed out my reality vs the effects of my past drug use. Having not touched anything aside from alcohol and cigarettes in almost a year I am trying to determine what level of psychological vs actual brain damage I have possibly caused. And see if there is anyone else out there who feels the way I do.
I first tripped on mushrooms at the age of 18 before joining the service ( I am now 23), and it was actually my pursuit for mushrooms that lead me down many different paths, not to blame the drug its self. The mushrooms did not make me eat them, or snort the many lines of coke that I received from a stranger in replacement of my strongly desired mushrooms.
The clarity if mind while tripping or perceived clarity is beyond imagination to someone who has never tried them. I as many before me often take the meaning of life approach to the use of mushrooms leading to long discussions and theological debates while under the influence. It is mans nature to ask the question why and in my case I am no exception. I have read several forums on the topic of mushrooms and one thing I find consistently stated is that each trip is unique. Contrary to that mine are all quite similar only with varying visual effects from minor to moderate, but never so much that I am detached from my physical surroundings. For me it is more so a perceptual change on the way I mentally view my world, feelings, emotionally and spiritually.
I keep finding my self looking around and seeing the beauty in life taking note of the most minuscule details that I would simply surpass on my usual day. The small holes in the wall, the curves of a television set etc. but most of all I find myself concluding on my purpose and the purpose of the world its self. I find it very hard to ignore that life simply cannot just be, and we are here to amuse ourselves and exist for no cause. Leading me to ask the question "why?". Rather than a concrete answer all I am left to conclude is an outline and in simple terms with in the limits of my understanding, life is a riddle, the answer is one. we are all one. an awareness? of life energy and the connection we share and in normal life shielding ourselves from it and shut out. with each trip I take aided by mushrooms this builds and structures itself further and further. It has not been an experience I have left behind in a night I thought would be recreational, it follows me to this day. And with in the last 2 months I have been experiencing very consistent deja vu. I feel as if I have done this all before. It has gotten to the point I am questioning my sanity... I believe it is associated with my use of mushrooms.
I first tripped on mushrooms at the age of 18 before joining the service ( I am now 23), and it was actually my pursuit for mushrooms that lead me down many different paths, not to blame the drug its self. The mushrooms did not make me eat them, or snort the many lines of coke that I received from a stranger in replacement of my strongly desired mushrooms.
The clarity if mind while tripping or perceived clarity is beyond imagination to someone who has never tried them. I as many before me often take the meaning of life approach to the use of mushrooms leading to long discussions and theological debates while under the influence. It is mans nature to ask the question why and in my case I am no exception. I have read several forums on the topic of mushrooms and one thing I find consistently stated is that each trip is unique. Contrary to that mine are all quite similar only with varying visual effects from minor to moderate, but never so much that I am detached from my physical surroundings. For me it is more so a perceptual change on the way I mentally view my world, feelings, emotionally and spiritually.
I keep finding my self looking around and seeing the beauty in life taking note of the most minuscule details that I would simply surpass on my usual day. The small holes in the wall, the curves of a television set etc. but most of all I find myself concluding on my purpose and the purpose of the world its self. I find it very hard to ignore that life simply cannot just be, and we are here to amuse ourselves and exist for no cause. Leading me to ask the question "why?". Rather than a concrete answer all I am left to conclude is an outline and in simple terms with in the limits of my understanding, life is a riddle, the answer is one. we are all one. an awareness? of life energy and the connection we share and in normal life shielding ourselves from it and shut out. with each trip I take aided by mushrooms this builds and structures itself further and further. It has not been an experience I have left behind in a night I thought would be recreational, it follows me to this day. And with in the last 2 months I have been experiencing very consistent deja vu. I feel as if I have done this all before. It has gotten to the point I am questioning my sanity... I believe it is associated with my use of mushrooms.